Bed Rest and 26 Weeks, Part 2

So I'm posting from my BlackBerry and it told me "field full," so I had to start another post.

Anyway, so I'm still here in antepartum on strict bedrest, with bathroom privleges, but still no wheelchair privileges. Meaning, I can only sit up at more than a 45 degree angle if I'm eating or peeing, I'm allowed to walk myself to the bathroom when I need to, and I'm allowed a quick shower. It is, however, working - my ultrasound on Monday showed my cervix to be much less dynamic and a little less funneling. I was hoping to get wheelchair privileges (they let you go outside for 30 minutes daily in a wheelchair, but no walking, obviously) but I didn't yet. So the only time I'm outside of my room is when I have my weekly visits with my perinatologist. It sounds like I'm complaining but I'm really not.. This isn't the most fun, pleasant, easiest thing I've ever done, but it's about a billion times better than having my baby in the NICU!!! Or dead, to be very blunt. I miss my husband and my doggies and my own bed, though. But better here without them than with them but without my baby boy! There's a small chance that at some point (28 or 30 weeks maybe?) that if I'm stable they might let me go do bedrest at home... But it's more likely that I'll be here for the duration. My peri keeps trying to psychologically prepare me for that - "Now, you know you're not going home anytime soon, right?" - but I still get disappointed after each visit when I'm told I need to stay. I can't help it!

Enough of bed rest though - it's working, and today I'm 26 weeks. That's the same day I went into labor with Brie, although technically she was born at 26w1d since I actually had her at 4:50 am the next morning. So the amazing thing is, whenever this little guy comes, I'm absolutely sure he will be bigger than she was! That's a relieving feeling. Today has been hard though - I'm filled with guilt that I couldn't stay pregnant with her longer, that I didn't do more. I can only do the best I can by this baby now, but I still wish I'd known better last time.

There's much more to say on this topic, but my hands are getting tired of typing on my BlackBerry. I definitely will be posting quite often now that I know how :)